October 7, 2020
Tim's Blog: Not Okay
Sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. How are you doing at not being “okay”? How are you coping with it? Is your response helping you or hurting you? Maybe you feel like the author of Psalm 77:2-4 when he says, “My soul refuses to be comforted. When I remember God, then I am disturbed; when I sigh, my spirit goes faint. You have held my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.”
My friend Kim recently started a blog page where she is going to begin processing a time like this in her life. Many of you know the Taylor family's story and the recent loss of their daughter, Sarah. This is how Kim is beginning to walk this journey in a time when she is not ”okay.”
Everyone wants to know how we’re really doing. There’s no easy way for me to respond to that. One minute I’m doing ok, thinking about some menial task, and the next minute something triggers a thought of Sarah and what should “be” and I’m in tears. Grieving is hard work - not just mentally, either, but physically. Sometimes I feel my heart is literally breaking on the inside and I feel random aches and pains and the old familiar gut-punch that has come and gone for the past 10 months. 10 months…I still can’t fathom that she’s gone and it only took 10 months. I hate cancer. I hate our new normal. Please bear with me as I figure out what life without Sarah looks like. Please have grace with me in my grieving...and no, this doesn’t mean that I’ve lost faith. God is close to the broken-hearted (Psalms 34:18). I know He can handle my honesty. There’s really no use pretending with Him. I learned that a long time ago. I know He’s the only one that can heal my broken heart. I made Sarah that promise as we talked about her being healed in heaven, instead of earth. I told her that just as I could trust Jesus to take care of her there, she could trust Him to take care of us here, and heal my broken heart. “The Lord cares deeply when His loved ones die.” Psalms 116:15. He cares for all of us who are hurting because we’re separated from those that we love. I’m so thankful that He made a way to defeat death once and for all.
Kim is beginning the hard work of healing by starting a blog page called “Grace in Grieving.” You can follow her journey here.
Possibly you're “not okay” due to a loss similar to Kim’s, or maybe it’s different for you. Are you lonely, struggling with depression or anxiety? Are you navigating your way through hopes unrealized, failed relationships, or circumstances that leave you feeling that there isn’t any way out?
How are you doing at not being “okay?” Can I offer you the opportunity to talk with someone? This is a chance to possibly take your first step in your journey toward getting better. You can text “chat” to 812-552-0300 and someone will follow up to help you take your first steps toward healing.